Straight up Midnight...Late Night Ramblings

The hour is late, the walls closing in on my soul as the battle with what feels like complete and absolute aloneness seems to eat away at my sanity if I ever had it to begin with.  A peek out the door of my tiny studio deepens my already dark thoughts.  Rain tumbling down from a steely foreboding slate gray sky completely devoid of the stars up above. Tick tock, tick tock, the clock on the wall counting each second as if each tick were minutes even hours in length.  Occasionally motivation strikes just long enough to load up another song on Youtube to drown out the silence as I contemplate having a second glass of wine knowing again it will be hours before I can find sleep, my mind numb yet going a million miles an hour racing from thought to thought.

Probably should flip off the TV, stop listening to the news, but feel an obligation to bear witness to the Coronavirus Pandemic that is ravaging my town of Nyack, my state of New York, our nation, and the entire world.  Each hour the positive tests and death toll rising with no end in site.  Government officials pushing out what was supposed to be a two week "Shelter In Place" time of isolation now in force for at least the month of April, though afraid that is being optimistic.  Frightened, alone, my depression overwhelming me I want to go out, run through the streets but I don't as exposing myself as a compromised human being scares me even more than my depression.

This Social Distancing has been going on now for two solid weeks...it's going to continue for another four and half weeks, perhaps longer.  That scares me as the first two weeks of May have not been a good time for me since 1993 when my Mom passed.  She died on May 3rd, her birthday was May 5th, and Mother's Day is always the next weekend.   The trifecta of grief as those three events all unfold at once, her death still painful some 27 years later. 

Love you Mom, miss you, and know you did the best you could under very trying circumstances.  Like you, I now have diabetes at 64, so worry that like you I might leave this earth at the too young age of 66.  Trying to take better care of myself than you did, but with all that is going on right now in this crazy world, feel I am failing myself in some ways...because of the "Sheltering in Place" I brought some treats into the house thinking I could dole them out, but alas I was wrong.  Like you, if I bring that stuff into the house it gets eaten far faster than is good for me.

Someone on one of the news shows suggested we all keep a journal of our experiences in these troublesome times...not sure why, but seemed like a good idea that I took to heart.  Started this blog on the first day of my isolation, and so far have managed at least a small entry every day...as it is after midnight suppose I can count this as my Tuesday entry in case I don't have the heart to write later in the day...as if I have something better to do.  Maybe one day long after I have departed Mother Earth some historian will find my ramblings, pluck a sentence or two out to include in some book he or she is writing about the 2020 Corona Virus Pandemic, though will not hold my breath on that.  

It rained all day yesterday, and again today with more scheduled for tomorrow...so even my daily walks have been curtailed though even those are different, quiet, devoid of other humans for the most part, my only conversations short greetings to a scampering squirrel or a bird entertaining me with song...am I channeling Doctor Dolittle or is insanity settling in?  Inquiring Minds want to know, and so apologize for that cheap tabloid reference.

I should try harder to count my blessings.  After all, five hundred of my fellow Americans lost their lives today, all of them dying alone, families forbidden to be by their besides holding their hand as they passed from this life to wherever or whatever awaits all of us when our bodies have lost the fight to take one more breath.  Thousands more in almost or even every state have been admitted to over crowded hospitals with overworked staff doing their best to save what lives they can, though many who may not know it yet have already been given a death sentence, especially those my age or older. We old folks have been told by far too many that in this Pandemic we are expendable, not worthy of a ventilator when  a younger soul who still has a lot of life to live is given priority for the life saving equipment in short demand...those responsible for this shortage should be held accountable but I know they will not be, life is what it is, and injustices are rarely addressed, and when they are the addressing is always woefully inadequate for those who were wronged.  What's a life cut short worth, how do you put a price on it, and if truth be told, those who medical staff will let die to save someone else will have to accept the reality that their life, perhaps even my life had no value in a world wide crisis.  That's a hard one to wrap one's brain around when you know if you get sick you are in that group who will receive nothing more than Comfort Care as you lay in a hospital bed waiting to die.

You would think I would be used to all of this...I no longer have family I claim, not having spoken to any siblings since shortly after the passing of my Mom.  Sometimes as painful as it is you have to let people go with love knowing maintaining contact, dealing with their toxicity is not worth the cost to your own emotional well being.  Past history has taught me it's safer to hold the world at bay, keeping people at arm's length, acquaintances rather than friends seeming the prudent path to follow.  Saying hello to folks I recognize when walking the streets with my camera, helping some when they are need, but never asking for help when I find myself in need.   I've always found it easier to just vanish, disappear with my depression than risk letting people in only later to get hurt by letting down my guard, letting people in, giving trust a chance.

It always seemed to work, but until now never had to Shelter in Place, though having lived in the shadow of the Indian Point Nuclear Reactors something I'd always given thought to, something I was always basically prepared for when it comes to having the physical supplies to get through it should the need arise.  In my naivetta it had never occurred to me that I'd yearn for some basic human contact, yearn for someone to ring my phone, or knock on my door, give me a sense that I mattered.  It hurts to realize, with a few exceptions, that my own actions my own observation rather than participation in the world created this reality. 

Probably should not, but think I'll make another cup of coffee which seems a wiser choice than opening up another bottle of wine as I know I would be tempted to enjoy more than one glass, and since I've already had one glass, think it prudent to forego that bottle which is calling out to me.

Been smoking for far too many decades, and have no real desire to give it up, but on the flip side with the world shut down, our Economy closed for business it is a habit I really cannot afford.  Especially since the pressure and stress of all this has seen my pack of day habit jump up to almost two which is also why my blood pressure is also slightly elevated.  Many will not understand it, but cigarettes are almost like a friend, always there when I need one, making no demands but just there when I need one.  Not going to give that a lot of thought right now as part of me knows trying to quit at this moment would be a horrible failure that would leave me loathing my lack of dedication to the task at hand.

Hopes, Dreams and Aspirations...

That jade part of me is tempted to quip, "why bother" at my age it is to late for all three of these, but if truth be told, have a few of these.

I used to own a 40 acre farm in Southeastern Ohio years, even decades ago.  In more recent years owned an old dilapidated 16 room Victorian.  Neither of those would appeal to me these days, though I do dream of a Tiny Home on a small parcel of land or a lot somewhere out in the great Northwest with California or Oregon, even Washington state high on the list.  A small garden, eye candy for my camera near by.  It's likely never going to happen, but it never hurts to dream, and hopes and dreams have always been within my budget.  Maybe a small Florida Room and a Deck, the later I'd build myself.

I need a new car...not a NEW CAR, but a new to me reliable vehicle to get me too and from.  It keeps struggling along, but fact is my old 2005 BMW that I bought used some eight years or so ago lets me know it would like to retire, spend its waning years rusting away in some well kept junk yard in the Midwest somewhere.  Sometimes I fantasize about a beautifully restored vintage pickup truck, or again a restored old convertible muscle car...my first car was a 66 Plymouth Fury III convertible, so have always had a soft spot for them.  That said, have to admit I've loved my beater BMW, and still have fond memories of my 1956 Volkswagen that I bought from an officer going overseas when I was in the Navy for $50.  Not going to find that kind of a deal in 2020.

I desperately need a new computer...has to be a 27" desktop Mac because of my photography, and could use a new camera and a few more lens.

Sailboats on The Hudson at Sunrise

Not a big list, and do play the lottery in hopes of breathing these hopes, dreams and aspirations into reality before I get to old to enjoy them, and the different life it would afford me.  Also would love to find happiness and companionship as dying alone holds no appeal to me, and if honest is a fear that sometimes paralyzes me.  If I did win the lottery, most of what I won would be spent helping others as I just don't have that many needs, and at 64 I've learned to live a pretty frugal life.

To those who lost their lives today to the Corona Virus my prayers and thoughts are with you and your families, and my hope is that the angels will come down to earth and personally escort each of you into the heavens above.  For those fighting for their lives in hospital all around the world, I am sending you all the energy I can muster to help you with your fight while I pray for your victory in what I know is the toughest fight of your lives.  To the Doctors, Nurses, EMT's, Police Officers, and all those stepping up to be there for the rest of us...I am humbled by your heart, soul and love for your neighbors, strangers and humanity and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Because I know there will be a morning after, leave you tonight with a picture of the sun rising over the Hudson River here in Nyack.

America Could See 200,000 Corona Virus Deaths

Donald J Trump in his presser yesterday again tried to bury his lies, change the narrative so that he seems the hero in our Corona Virus American Greek tragedy.   First he says reports he just saw showed our nation could see 2.2 million deaths from the Corona Virus and that reality was unacceptable so he was taking swift action on Sheltering in Place to save lives, to lower the potential number of deaths down to 100-200,000 deaths.  Never mine that it was and is his failures of leadership that created the model that would kill 2.2 Million of us.  he then went on to say that IF we can keep deaths under 200,000 he would declare that a HUGE VICTORY.

200,000 deaths, many of them directly related to Donald J Trump and the @GOP's dereliction of duty in dealing with this pandemic, and it's considered now to be a victory?  No!...these leaders must be held accountable for their crimes against humanity, but they are not the only ones.   Jerry Falwell Jr. insisted on opening back up the doors of Liberty University and a few scant days later 19 students have tested positive for the Corona Virus...in LA a church had choir practice.  Out of 40 some members of the Choir, 25 have tested positive for the virus, five hospitalized, and two dead.  This is all too real folks, and if you cannot shelter in place to save your own lives, do it to save mine and everyone else's.  

Certain deaths from this pandemic seem to touch us personally more than others do...someone barely hanging on I just found out is John Prine...losing him will hurt on a very personal basis, he was one of those musicians who got me through some very rough troubling times when I wore a young man's clothes.   He's in very rough shape, and not looking like he will make it.  His loss will be a very large one for the music fans among us.

I pray for his miracle recovery, but if the angels are calling him to the heavens, I wish him God's speed as he travels up into the heavens to join so many great musicians who have passed before him who I know will be waiting at the gates of Heaven to welcome him home.  Be well my friend whom I never met but feel as if I know.

Could not find sleep last night at all...finally dozed off to a fitful few hours sleep at 6:00 AM this morning, and was back up at nine.  

Going to close for now and see if I can get an afternoon nap in.   Later tonight or tomorrow morning will try to write a more in depth entry, make some personal observations about the Pandemic and how I see it changing all of us, our town, our state, the nation and the world forever.

This is Some Serious Shit, and We HAve a Spiteful Asshole in White House

At what time do we as a nation collectively lose our temper and tell the GOP and Donald J Trump "ENOUGH ALREADY".  What kind of a sick twisted monster withholds much needed aid to the state of Michigan because their Governor was not kissing the taint of the man occupying the White House in a way that aassauges his giant insecurity complex and overly inflated ego?  Why are Republicans continuing their generosity toward the Uber Rich while doing everything they can to hurt the average citizens of America?  Yes, on this Saturday the 28th day of March I am beyond pissed off, beyond livid, and thinking despite the risks to our health we must as a nation seriously consider taking to the streets as we did way back when to bring the Vietnam War to an end.

You MAGA folks...wake the hell up, you are being duped by a false prophet who could care less about all of you...you are nothing but expendable pawns that Trump will manipulate and use in his quest to destroy the America we all say we love.  He wants to be a despot, and is taking a wrecking ball to our Constitution to make it a reality for him, his family, and his Uber Rich friends, and our silence is helping him.  Tell me Trump supporters what will it take for you all to wake up and realize you have been conned and fooled?  Will the death of your Mom, Dad,sister, brother, wife or child wake you to the reality that we have a insane sociopath in charge of our nation?

China started dealing with the Coronavirus weeks before we in America were faced with this horrid virus, they have four times the population that we do here in the USA, yet because of the complete and total failure of the Trump Administration, we are now NUMBER ONE in the world for the number of positive tests for Coronavirus, and there is almost no doubt that we will soon be number one in the world for the most deaths from this virus.  The Republican Controlled Senate and White House do not have a plan to deal with all this, and Trump wanting to put us all back to work by Easter is a recipe for a Coronavirus Holocaust.  Leave no doubt, if the United States does not go into a nationwide lock down our death counts will quickly surge to over 100,000 deaths.

Republicans and Donald J Trump now have us openly discussing letting old people die so that younger people can live...WHAT THE FUCK...surely this is not who we are as a nation in 2020.  Call me selfish, but I have no intentions of dying to save Donald's Stock Market or his Economy.  If I get sick and get put on a ventilator and medical staff tries to take it  off me to give to a younger person, they will have a fight on their hands, as I will die fighting for my life, for one more breath.   Is there any one who believes Donald Trump, Pence or Mitch McConnell would forgo a life saving ventilator so that a younger person could live while they die?  I would go so far as to bet the farm that scum like them are actually hoarding a few for themselves as a just in case insurance policy.

There are some good things in all this...at least here in Nyack, when I go for my walks am seeing little acts of kindness that give me hope.  People pulling together, checking on each other, and if necessary making personal sacrifices to help a neighbor in need.  In short, average people with average lives showing their better angels in this time of crisis.  On Twitter where most people don't really know their followers all that well people are checking in on each other, sharing news, and collectively working to keep everyone's spirits up...THAT IS AMERICA.

I know we all need to do the best job we can to Shelter in Place during this Pandemic, for ourselves, and to protect the lives of all those we love, our neighbors and friends.  That said, as I sit here day after day find myself wondering and asking myself..."What could I be doing safely during this crisis to help others?"  If you are reading this, and have some suggestions please leave them in the comments section below.

My picture of the day is a cartoon I found online that speaks volumes...hope you enjoy it.

Tongue in Cheek...Friday Night Date Night For One

Want to Know What Heroes Look Like

So today was productive in some ways...after the great refrigerator debacle, and the deconstruction necessary to move things out of the way to move the old frig out, and put two small temporary units in, a big part of my day was spent putting everything back together, dusting, cleaning, vacuuming and doing dishes, feel like I should be given the "Good Housekeeping" seal of approval for my apartment.   I'm serious, for a guys place, its looking pretty SNAZZY.

This afternoon went for a bit of a walk...was simply too beautiful not to.   Temperatures were in the mid sixties, not a cloud in the sky, and the Magnolia tree down the street is in full bloom, so the smells...OH THE SMELL of Spring.   Simply stated it gave me hope that we are all going to get through this, and life will be OK when we reach the other end of this Pandemic.  Watching the late afternoon White House presser was a buzz kill mainly because Donald J Trump (not my president, and will never refer to him as such) is such a moronic Josef Mengele like vile man child...too harsh, or is my tone just about right?

So, it is Friday night, all the bars and restaurants are closed, and I guess you could say I am having a date for one with myself...at least I like the company most of the time.   Had left over pizza earlier for dinner, washed all the dishes and now sitting hear listening to the Stones on my Google Home, sipping a bold red wine and even put flame to a candle so that I could turn the lights down and just chill for a couple hours before shutting things down and finding sleep...or not.   In this very frightening time, sleep is not so easy to come by, and too often when found nightmares come for a visit in the middle of the night, so a no win there sometimes.

Things are getting very scary...just in a bit ago on CNN...America's positive tests for the Corona Virus have just topped 100,000 nearly twice that of China, so sure Trump loves us being NUMBER ONE in something.   I think it is only a matter of time before our number of deaths also is the highest in the world.   Going to get very ugly in Florida and New Orleans in the next week to ten days, and Governor Cuomo says we are still 4-6 weeks from hitting peak infection here in New York.

I need to write this journal entries earlier in the day...a part of me wants to write more, go into some of my thoughts on all this, but the other side just wants to enjoy the tunes, sip my wine and let this all go for the evening...guess which wins.

Good Night All.    

Should Not Complain....BUT

Great Blue Heron Music Festival

This is going to be a short post, but wanted to put something up today, otherwise it would not a daily journal log of my own Social Distancing Lock Down because of our World Wide Coronavirus PAndemic. 

Sometimes our own problems are so minor compelled to what others are going through...those who have passed from the Pandemic, those infected and in the hospital, doctors, nurses and all first responders come quickly to mind.  That said, for me, yesterday was not a good day.

Around 2:30 I went into the kitchen to make coffee and upon opening up my refrigerator for the coffee creamer found out that my refrigerator had DIED, given up the ghost, was not working...the same frig loaded up with all the food I laid in for this crisis.  Can we say PANIC TIME?  So, called a repairman who arrived right at 5:00 PM, charged me $100 to take a look at the unit for all of two minutes and say, sorry, it cannot be fixed, it is dead, you are better off just shopping for a new one.  Well thank you for that Mr. Repairman, and do enjoy that $100 you gouged me for.

You cannot get a refrigerator at 5:00 PM, let alone get it delivered so it was panic time.  I was able to find two small refrigerators, and with some serious effort got them into my basement apartment and got all the food stuffed into them thus saving my emergency food supplies...was late by the time I got that emergency dealt with.  UGG...Last week my Keurig died, this week the refrigerator...Thank God I do not own a washer and dryer.

Today was gorgeous out so went for a nice walk with my camera, said hello to a few folks (we kept our safety distance) here in town and took some cash out of the ATM...sure it is not going to happen, but have been building up my cash on hand in case there is a run on the banks.  Sorry to be so pessimistic, but it could happen, and cash is king.

Ordered in tonight and waiting for Sushi...pricy, but after last night felt I needed a special treat and love my sushi.

Let me pick out a picture and put this up...I know, feel guilty, but just don't have the energy or zest to do this journal justice on this day.   I am tired, a bit under the weather and just want to curl up and push aside this overwhelming loneliness I have felt today for some reason.  Maybe getting out for a nice walk on a warm day has heighten my senses to just how alone I am in my little basement apartment...quick, someone put on Cinderella.  

Rainy Self Isolation Day Outside

Just after nine AM on Wednesday here in Nyack, and the weather outside my door is damp, dismal and overcast, rain seeming to hang in the air, our spring showers coming in March, perhaps another sign of the Global Climate Change that Donald J Trump says is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese much like he calls the Corona Virus the Chinese Virus...do not tell me he is not a racist as he is. For all you fans of the Great Orange Menace, are you ready for Trump's Easter Rapture?  Can see all you supposed Evangelicals and Christians dancing in the aisles of your hypocritical church's to Trump's Easter Rapture Polka as Ivanka, Trump Junior and Eric pass their collection plates of love around the congregation...GIVE ME A BREAK...no, we should not end self Social Distancing for Easter, and furthermore this 64 year old Baby Boomer is not going to die for Trump's Stock Market.   For a change, lets let the rich, as they say, eat the cake.

The Senate finally passed a Coronavirus Bailout, and it is not all that and a box of chocolates (twist on Forest Gump line), and wondering how Tom Hanks and his wife are getting along.  Funny how we here in New York cannot get tested for the virus but he, his wife, basketballs stars and Prince Charles can get tested immediately.  Yes, folks, wealth and fame come with benefits and privilege and though it is not fair, it is reality.  Don't believe me, do a serious read of the bill that was passed...as example, why is a couple making $150,000 a year getting a check to help them get through all this?  With two kids they'll pocket around $3400...that should cover the payments on their BMW, Mercedes or other high end vehicle for a few months.

Worried about the lack of ventilators...don't be!  One of Trump's cornies was on CNN saying they should start shipping hundreds of thousands out to those who need them IN MAY.  Hello FEMA, we here in New York need 30,000 incubators today, and you sent us 4,000!  In World War II we could build a B52 Bomber in 24 hours, but in 2020 a major auto company needs well over a month before they can start shipping equipment that would save lives while Donald Trump and other God Fearing Christians tell us folks over 60 we should be willing to die today to save the economy for our Grandchildren tomorrow...just for the record, and not to be selfish, I do not have children, and short of a miracle will not see Grandchildren.  I stand ready to do all in my power to help in this crisis, but dying because I am denied Medical Care is not one of those things on my own to do list.

My Social Distancing agenda for today...clean and tidy the apartment, which will take less than an hour since I have been keeping the place up pretty good since this self exile from the world started a week ago this past Monday.  This will be followed by a nice steamy hot shower and then my third cup of coffee of the morning...what can I say, woke up at just before 6 AM, and could not get back to sleep as my mind was being assaulted by the latest news and statistics on the Pandemic.  With the weather outside, really not sure yet how to fill the rest of my day and evening.  Would love to play some Gin Rummy or perhaps some Duplicate Bridge (yes, I play Bridge) but both are difficult at a card table for one.  Do think I'll turn the news off for a few hours and ask Google Home to play some Grateful Dead, and then maybe some Moody Blues or King Crimson...Court of the Crimson King has got to be one of the best albums EVER. (RIP Bill Rieflin)

Back later...everyone stay safe, stay isolated, and enjoy the day.  

New York is in Trouble...and Other Thoughts

First folks,dd want to apologize...a few spell checkers and grammar/tense police have brought it to my attention that in the haste to capture my thoughts my various posts have some glaring issues.  My eyes, and perhaps my mind are not as sharp as they were when I wore a younger man's clothes but rest assured that over that day or two I will be going over each post, editing them more closely, and correcting tense issues.  I thank you for pointing out the flaws in my writing.   I know return you to my regularly scheduled programming.

Yesterday I baked a coffee cake from our old family recipe...just the smell in the apartment for a few hours made this a very worthwhile project, and was a definite pick me up for my spirits.  On the flip side, got on the scale to find out that this Social Distancing and Sheltering in Place have seen me gain 4 pounds...so, the rest of the coffee cake went into the freezer this morning.  I've also cancelled my plans to bake banana nut bread today.

Just got back from a nice solitary walk around Nyack...Memorial Park is now on lock down, the road down to the park closed off, and the gate to parking locked until further notice.  In a bustling downtown area I walked by a total of FIVE PEOPLE, three of them taking their dogs out for their morning sabbatical.   Strawberry Place, a local breakfast/lunch stable for I think almost fifty years was empty...normally this time of the day there are several tables (full) outside, and not a seat to be found inside.   Every other eatery in town was much the same, and according to a report I watched on CNN early in the morning, if they do not get financial aid America could lose as much as 75 percent of our fine dining establishments before this is over.  That reality if reaching fruition would devastate our community.

Many folks don't really know me here in Nyack as (unlike most) I am not native to the area.  I was a potter and sculptor for 20 years living on a 40 acre farm in Southeastern Ohio.   I earned my living doing 30-40 Festivals, Craft Shows, and Street Fairs a year, traveling all over the East Coast every weekend so that I could make ends meet and pay the bills.  I share this as an example...America's Artists, Craftsmen, Photographers, Musicians and the like have lost every venue they have relied on to earn a living.  Festivals, Fairs and Music Venues are all closed down.  Many of us have relied on a first or second job working in restaurants as a secondary source of income, and that as well is gone.  So, if you have a favorite artist whose work you have collected, now would be a great time to send them an order, or even a small donation as we are all hurting.

MORE SERIOUS NEWS...

We here in New York (not by choice) have fast become the tip of the Coronavirus Pandemic, our number of infected rising at very alarming rates, and I am sure all to soon the number dying from this horrible virus will rise in numbers we never imagined.  Governor Cuomo is being a stand up leader, doing everything he possibly can to keep us all safe, but there is only so much he can do...especially when we have a racist, lunatic buffoon in the White House.  Yes, I am saying it...Donald J Trump is unfit to hold the office, and his approach to this World Wide Pandemic is going to end up killing a lot of innocent people.

Saw to very elderly people (don't see myself as elderly, but sadly I am) who are all but shut in during normal times, their outings sometimes no more than sitting on the bench outside the apartment building.   Gave each of them my number and told them to call if they need groceries or other supplies.   If you know shut-ins, even if you have never officially met or spoken to them, please check in on them, become their life line to the outside world.

Mnuchin and Donald Trump as a part of the CoronaVirus Bailout want half a trillion dollars (no strings attached) slush fund with zero accountability...THAT SHOULD NOT HAPPEN.  I would not trust either of these two with a roll of pennies, let alone half of a trillion dollars of the "People's Money".

Please people...stay isolated, wash your hands, and STAY SAFE.

Nyack...Effects of Corona Virus Distancing For One Small Town

I take pictures every day for the most part, rain or shine, Corona Virus or not, it is what I do, defines who I am.  Most people in town fondly refer to me, or call out to me, "Hey Camera Man, any good pictures today".  Over the past week I've been walking around our small town taking pictures of empty storefronts, our streets, our city park as this horrible Pandemic shuts down our businesses, puts people we all know out of work, changing lives and perhaps our town forever.  Today, thought I would share some of these pictures as they tell the story far better than I could with my halting words and even perhaps my own biased eyes.  

Businesses closed, perhaps just moth balled, or maybe closed forever, the shock to their bottom lines creating a sad reality they must accept...the Corona Pandemic's crashing of the American Economy painting a very sad reality that for some, their doors will never again reopen...I know first hand that some of our Nyack business owners have already reached this crossroads, have locked their doors for one last time to the public.

Walk up to the corner of Broadway and Hudson Street and you'll find one such business, even her Going Out of Business sale greatly curtailed as her doors had to be closed till further notice by yesterday.   I was able to purchase a small bench that now sits at the foot of my bed, a reminder going forward of the beautiful things in that shop, the pleasant memories I have of shopping there at Christmas Time looking for gifts to give my friends.


Think about all the things that are a part of your daily lives, the other lives and incomes we affect in a positive way as we go stroll about town.  Hair salons  there ready to make you look beautiful for that special occassion or perhaps just because.   Nail salons, Yoga studios, our bars, restaurants have benefitted from our patronage and we benefitting from the services, goods and nights out...that for now is gone, us locked safely inside our homes and apartments (not all of us), and them struggling as they try to come to grips with the reality their livelihoods for now are gone.  How many waiters, bartenders Yoga instructors and others are out of work and wondering how they will pay their bills come the first of April.

Despite these problems, despite their personal worries and pain as we TOGETHER do our best to get through this, those who are allowed under the state mandated Social Distancing are still trying to be there for us, almost every restaurant in town in a limiting way keeping their doors open, offering us food, even if they need to deliver to our front doors.

A shout out to to Koblin's Pharmacy...despite the risks to them and their employees, they are still open, and if you are sick, not feeling well they will deliver free of charge what you need...just give them a call and let them keep you both well and safe.  There are so many other unsung heroes in our town who are pitching in, playing their small parts in what can only be called a Modern Day Greek Tragedy.  If you know one or some of these citizens please give them a thank you, starting with all of our town workers taking care of essential services, our doctors, our nurses, firemen and other first responders.

When a new different normal returns to Nyack, when the doors of our shuttered businesses open back up, when the outdoor tables return to MAin Street go out, celebrate our Victory over this dreaded disease and give hugs generously to all those you've been isolated from for what may weeks or even months.  Be generous of heart, and support those who in some ways took the brunt of this Pandemic, give them a hand up as we do our best to see most of our small business men and women come back and be more successful than they were before our town was shuttered and put into lock down.  We will survive all this, and when we do, when it is all over let us go about the task of making Nyack better than it has ever been.

Easter is coming...a very important religious holiday for so many, a day of prayer, reflection, church services and a Holiday meal either at the family table or in a restaurant.  Right now, even our churches have locked their doors, so for those who do, pray for them as well as they are the guardians of our souls.   I'll do my part, pray that somehow we see a miracle that sees all of them open on this special day, sees their pews as it were, open for business.

For those of you of faith...this may be the most important time since our nation went through the horror of 9/11 that America needs your prayers.

As you go for your solitary walks...yes, even though we are sheltering in place, that is still allowed...look for the beauty and spirit that is all about us if we take the time to open our eyes.

This is Joe, a fixture in our town to many of us.  Snapped this picture of him down at Memorial Park as he meditated and called up positive energy from the Universe, doing his small part in trying to keep us all safe, and emotionally grounded in these trying times.  If you see him in town give him an elbow bump, or maybe book a Riki massage with him once this Pandemic is over.   Better yet, maybe book the appointment and pre-pay it so that he, and so many others like him can pay their April bills and keep the roof over their heads as we all struggle to get through this.  Such random acts of kindness will come back to you ten fold, and many times in ways you would never expect.  Be a part of Nyack Strong, do what you can, and ask the Universe for what it is you need to get through this.

As you walk down our empty streets, take the time to read the various notes our shopkeepers have left in their door windows for us to see.  Some will make you think, others might bring a tear to your eyes, but they are worth taking the ten or so seconds it take to read them, and in doing so you are in some small honoring them by noticing.

Others will give you food for thought, or perhaps solace in knowing you are not alone in going through this.  If you read a note and suddenly realize there is maybe a small something you can do to help them, or someone else, as Nike would say, "Just Do It" smiling at the self knowledge that you are doing your small part, helping in your own way to get our town of Nyack through this time of troubled waters.  Nyack is our town, and in some ways a part of who each of us is as a person, and we need our town just as much as our town and our citizens need each and everyone of us for the beautiful creatures that we are, warts and all.

I know so many of the folks who work in our restaurants and bars...almost all of them overnight put out of work, their sometimes precarious hold on financial security overnight placed on the brink of collapse.  Same with our musicians, their gigs, and even most of their lessons with students cancelled until further notice.  This is one of those people, a bartender at Olives, and a gifted female vocalist taken outside of the local bar as she and a couple of her friends offered up their voices to let the rest of us know that it's all going to be OK.

If you walk past some of these folks on the street, perhaps stop to listen to their gifts please don't walk away without tossing a couple of bucks in their guitar case...your doing do might make the difference between them eating or not that evening.   They are supporting and feeding our souls with their songs, let us help take care of a few of their needs.

I end today with this picture that kind of scared me, and brought home just how serious this all is.

Our banks are closed!  Yes, you can still use your debit cards, the ATM's are still up and running, but God Forbid you need a big chunk of your cash for a family emergency...you have to make an appointment to get into the bank.  Most ATM's including at the banks themselves limit how much you can take out, and if you need more than a few hundred bucks you have to see a teller.

Not now, not in this crisis.   Trying to see the positive of this reality, maybe its is good in the sense it limits the risk of America having a run on our banks as the stock market spirals downward and MILLIONS of Americans get laid off with no idea of when or if we will return to work.  Maybe today the Senate will do its job and pass a Corona Bailout that helps people instead of helping Big Business.

Remember everyone, be smart and stay inside, be safe and wash your hands, and most of all when you are passing someone on the street, even if from a safe distance say hello as that small greeting might be just what someone needs at a point when their own hope is waning.

God Bless

Sunday, and Overnight Snow is Coming to Nyack

So, Spring has officially sprung, the daffodils, crocus and other flowers now in full bloom, but the winter we really never had this year is not quite finished with us as the weather forecast is calling for snow overnight and into Monday.  Not a lot of snow, just enough to make driving difficult for those who still have a job and who are allowed to work outside of the home...which is not most of us as Governor Cuomo has effectively shut down all business and industry in the state other than those who have a job in essential services...such as our nurses and medical staff, all of whom are the true heroes in trying to halt the spread of this killer virus.

Took stock this morning, and this being cooped up in my basement studio apartment has me smoking way to much...I know, I should not be smoking at all, but right now in the middle of this international crisis is probably not the best time for me to give any serious thought to stopping this very bad habit that is not good for my health.  That said, I need to at least attempt cutting back to at least under one pack a day....yesterday was an extremely bad day as I could not find sleep until almost five this morning, and I smoked just shy of two packs in one day.   First, I cannot afford that kind of expense on a daily basis, and more importantly that pace of smoking would/will/could end up contributing to my early demise which I don't want.  Enough on that.

More and more of our town is shutting down...we have several Yoga spaces in town, and I saw signs on three of the shop windows thanking their customers, and telling everyone they hope to see them again when the Corona Virus Pandemic is over, but all classes cancelled and their business moth balled until further notice.  I know we are suffering no more than other communities, and far less than others, but the cost to Nyack when the dust settles I fear will be immense, our town forever changed, perhaps for the better, or maybe not.

Took my short walk yesterday late afternoon, and a few out of work musicians were on the front porch of Olives (our local dive bar) trying to keep the music scene here on life support, and put a couple dollars in tips in their pockets to perhaps buy them their next meal.  Took a few pictures that I hope to post up later after I have downloaded them from my camera.   Sure what they were doing was not exactly sheltering in place, but overall think almost all of us are doing are best to keep our contact with other humans at a minimum, but that said, I applaud their efforts, and hearing music in the street gave some of us hope of better days to come...so thank you to those musicians who entertained a small crowd, all of us carefully making sure we were six feet or more away from everyone else who stopped for a few minutes of song.

Feeling Under The Weather Saturday

Last night saw me sinking into sickville...scratchy throat, sneezing, a sinus headache...don't ask me what my temperature was as I realized when I wanted to find out that I don't actually own a thermometer.  Does that make me a typical male unable to take care of myself when I need to?  Dump a concoction of over the counter medicines into my system, curled up in bed under a whole lot of blankets and slept till almost eleven this morning.  Not sure yet if I am feeling better, holding my own or getting worse.   Will ascertain that after I have my morning quota of coffee.  At some point going to shower and go see if the local drug store has a thermometer in stock so I can see if I am running a temperature, but do know more Tylenol is in order as the headache from last night is still lingering in the recesses of my mind.

Cherished Memory-LBJ

CNN runs constantly in the background in my small apartment, updates on the Corona Virus coming in faster than my ears can take them in...OMG, OMG, one piece of news more devastating than the one before it.  Perhaps it is time I limit just how much news I am taking in as it is all both depressing and overwhelming.

Going to have to make a trip out for a few supplies today...I tried eating Tuna out of the can...that was not a pleasant experiences.  Need my pickles, some chunks of tomato and a generous dollop of Mayo or I can't eat it...served over a bed of spinach, and I am a happy camper.   Going to go down to our small oriental grocery on Broadway as they so far seem to be keeping their store shelves well stocked, and their veggies are always fresh and mostly organic.   Will cost me a bit more, but not having to get in my car, not having to walk through a large box grocery store with lots of people also shopping seems like a good idea.

The lack of human interaction is taking its toll on me.   I have pretty much stayed inside now for six days, other than a walk down to the park, or up to Main Street.  Those walks are down lonely streets, the outdoor tables for dining or sharing a drink gone, many of the shops closed, or only open for take out meals, and suspect many of those places will soon close as they realize there's just not enough people ordering take out to keep their doors open in this crisis.  The restaurants close and our small town of Nyack might as well roll up the sidewalks and call it a day.  Have a feeling the fall out in lost small businesses when this is over will change our town for a very long time to come.  There is a good chance we could lose our designation as "a place to go, a destination town".

The White House is about to do their daily Corona Virus briefing, and I am dreading having to watch Donald Trump again make a fool of himself as he lies to every American.  Never in the history of America have we had a President less qualified and less suited for the job.  Cannot wait for November elections, though not sure what I will do if by some tragic set of circumstances he were to be re-elected.   Enough of politics for now.

Being locked away alone, do find myself wondering if those going through this alone can pair up with safe individuals to create a network of souls with which to share some human interaction. Sure that is wishful thinking...saying hello to people walking down Depew Avenue to Memorial Park, or having someone ask me what I am taking pictures of made me feel in some way connected to the world and life around me, and that has all but disappeared, our streets and park for the most part devoid of people, and those who are out doing their best to avoid contact with someone who just might, though probably not, be a carrier.   I do the same, crossing over to the other side of the street to avoid walking to closely to someone who might suddenly start coughing into my safe space.

It's past noon, the day slipping away and me still in pajamas.  Time to motivate, have my hot steamy shower and then head out to take care of a few chores.  Let me find a picture to share and call this entry done.

Day Five Friday Rants, and a Few Positive Thoughts

Day five of what is becoming a mandatory Social Separation/Distancing for all of us living in the state of New York which is fast becoming the center of the Corona Virus Pandemic.  I am trying to keep positive, but hard to do with some of the news coming across the airwaves that have me on this day more than a little afraid, and a whole lot angry.  

1.  CNN had a ER doctor on, and her words had my jaw dropping.   Her basic (almost word for word) statement was, "If you are sick, if you think you have the virus DO NOT come to the ER.  You will only endanger yourself, and all of us.   We have no Corona Virus tests, so we cannot help you anyway!"

2.  Republican members of the Senate instead of protecting us were using INSIDER information to sell off stocks they knew would plummet, and reinvesting in companies that would profit once the news got out that we were in the middle of a Corona Virus Pandemic.

3.  Heard on the news this morning...as of yesterday, in the first four days of this week 2.25 MILLION Americans applied for unemployment.  Simply stated folks, this is Great Depression territory for us, and for the world.

4.  Went to my local Starbucks...the door is now locked, they are only taking App orders, then putting them on a table by the door for customers to pick up.  No touching, no cash sales, no scanning your cell phone to pay.   Nothing against Starbucks, just an example of just how dangerous the world is with Corona Virus running rampant every where in the world.

I could go on and on about how this Pandemic is affecting all of us, go on about all the major missteps made by Donald J Trump and his administration...I'll simply say they have dropped, and are continuing to drop the ball in dealing with the Corona Virus.   If there were a grade lower than F they would have earned it tenfold.  

On a personal level...

Sucks surviving this all alone.   My street is a major artery to our city park here in Nyack, parents, children and...well, any one going to the park passes by my doorstep.  If I need human contact all I ever had to do was walk out my front door and sit on the stoop, or take a walk down to the park.  Now, there is NO TRAFFIC, no laughing children, no parents pushing strollers passing by my door.  The town is closed down tight...a good thing on one hand, but very difficult on the other.  Even my cat Bella knows things are out of sorts.

For those wondering...almost all the pictures on this blog are my own.   I'll post at least one in every journal update in the hopes my work will give someone a smile in these difficult times.  Please everyone, heed the warnings, practice Social Distancing, and keep yourselves and your family healthy and safe.

Got My New Keurig So Life is Good

With all the bad news, sure it seems odd to be talking about getting my new coffee maker...my old one died on my first day of Lock Down, and sure every serious coffee drinker can understand waking up to a broken coffee maker.  200 fresh K-Cups and no way to enjoy them.  The HORROR of it all, so a big shout out of thanks to Keurig and Fed Ex for saving the day.   Now on to far more important things as day four of the Corona Virus self imposed Social Isolation unfolds.

To maintain what little sanity I have left I try to go out for a walk every day...usually down to Main Street here in Nyack, then loop around and down to Memorial Park.  With each passing day it feels as if our town is struggling to stay alive, everything in town closed except for a few shops selling grocery items, a few restaurants only handling take out orders, and our small independent Drug Store.  Other than people safely barcaded in their cars the part was empty, no children running and playing, all the benches and picnic tables empty.   All of this just made my own isolation all the more real and poignant.   

Donald J Trump continues to fail miserably in dealing with the crisis while simultaneously patting himself on the back for the great job he is doing while lying with almost every statement.   How any one, let alone the President of the United States can continue to lie to the American People is beyond my comprehension when the  world is burning.   He owns this, all of this but keeps trying to rewrite the script in a way that he is perceived as the hero in our Greek Tragedy.  

In New York state they did 7,000 tests yesterday...let's put that in perspective...New York City has over 8 million people, which means at current testing rate it would take THREE YEARS to test everyone in the city.   Hospitals are now running out of masks and other supplies needed to keep our nurses, doctors and other hospital staff SAFE, and the nation is running out of toilet paper as people continue to hoard that and other supplies like rubbing alcohol...I gave up trying to find this later item as every drug store in the area is out.

Just in...State Dept has just now issued its highest level travel advisory, recommending no International Travel, and encouraging those out of the country to find a way back to America where they will go into a two week quarantine.   

Looking for bright news...at least for today the DOW seems to be holding its own...oh, and my new coffee maker, lets not forget about that!   

Be healthy and stay safe!

I Heard The News Today...and Other Random Thoughts

The news with each passing moment of every hour each and every day seems to get darker, more perilous as the entire world faces the Corona Virus Pandemic...Mnuchin in front of the cameras saying we could see 20 percent unemployment, cases in the United States up almost 1500 overnight, the market crashing yet again, dropping below 20,000 as peoples nest eggs vanish in the blink of an eye...Stop the world, I want to get off.

Walked down to our local park only to find a new bright fluorescent  sign on the gate of the children's play ground...Playground closed until further notice, enter at your own risk.  Try explaining that to your small child who just wants to slide down the slide, or swing on a swing.  Walking down our main street, businesses locked up tight, notes taped to their windows telling all who bother to read...in light of the unfolding events, and for the safety of our customers we are closed until further notice, and we hope we can reopen when this is all over...WE HOPE?...sadly, we all know many of those small businesses will never reopen their doors.

Living alone, been searching for things to make this all easier.   A few of them for those looking for ideas.

1.   Spring is still here, the flowers beginning to bloom...go cut a vase or two of them, bring them into your space so that moving from room to room you smile at the simple joy they bring and remember, we will get through this...somehow.

2.  Read a book, a real book with pages.   I read in bed last night, the first time in years.  There was comfort and solace in reclaiming that familiarity in the simple act of turning the page, or going back to reread a poignant sentence a second or even third time.

3.  Bake some cookies...the house always smells so wonderful when cookies are baking in the oven, and what can be better than warm cookies fresh out of the oven with a tall glass of icy cold milk.

4.  Play cards with a real deck of cards instead of bringing up your solitaire app on your laptop or phone.

5.  Clean your house/apartment, then clean it again.   I am not the best housekeeper, but since this began, my house is far more than just tidy, and it helps keep my spirit elevated.

6.  Pick up the phone and check in on friends and family...especially those who are older, those who are living alone.   Your friendly voice could help them make it through yet another day.

7.  Limit how much news you consume...I am a CNN News Junkie, the television usually on 24/7, a constant companion as I go about my day.   Now I am limiting it, turning the TV off and choosing instead to listen to some of my favorite musicians who I've ignored over the years.  Not a music fan, try watching some great old movies.

I may come back later on and make another entry...for now, going to take advantage of the sunny day and put some sun tea out on my stoop to marinate to enjoy with my evening meal...tonight, very simple, maybe some Tuna Salad over a bed of spinach.  Be safe folks, say hello

and feel free to start a conversation in the comment box below.

Day Two Thoughts on American Coronavirus Lock Down

Spring is Still Coming

Was up late last night glued to the news, so slept in today until around 9:30...not that it matters as there is not much to do other than go out for a SAFE WALK which I did earlier...it is as if the entire town of Nyack has gone into indefinite hibernation, all restaurants, bars and nonessential businesses closed other than for take out orders or home delivery of prepared foods.  Places like Amazon/Wholefoods so swamped that for right now, I could not get an order delivered even if I wanted to.   Thank God I stocked up over the past two weeks.

A serious jump in confirmed cases overnight nationwide, so this Pandemic gets more alarming on a daily, even hourly basis.  As someone in the high risk (Diabetic) group I'm trying the best I can to follow all the safety guidelines, though could do better if honest...doing the whole hand washing thing, but being a photographer and smoker (another high risk) the whole not touching my face thing needs a whole new retraining effort on my part.

On the good news side of the equation...with so many activity options gone for the foreseeable future I find myself cleaning up my apartment daily, even twice daily just for something to do, so now my apartment is (as I like to say) company ready 24/7...GREAT, a tidy neat apartment all ready for company that is never going to be knocking on my door for the duration of the Pandemic.  That said, my cat Bella seems to be enjoying this as every time I clean I find and put in a pile all her favorite toys.

Anyone stumbling across this blog please stay safe and healthy and together we'll all get through this and hopefully come out the other side stronger individually, as a town and as a nation.

Absorbing the Hard Reality of Isolation

This from a tweet I put up after taking a short walk through my small town of Nyack here in Rockland County New York: 

Walked around downtown #Nyack when overwhelmed by an eerie, quiet, desolate, alone feeling that was all too familiar when it hit me...this is the same eerie "life has changed forever" feeling we all experienced in the immediacy and aftermath of 9/11 when the towers went down.

They say one picture is worth a thousand words, so here are three I snapped along the way that tell a story of the change, the quiet sense of desolation as we all collectively realize our world has forever changed, our normal turned upside down as the Corona Virus races around the world.

This sign already posted on the window of one of Main Streets well known places to dine.  I am positive that most of the other dining and bar establishments will soon be posting their own similar messages to their loyal customers just before they tell their employees they are out of work until further notice.  The lives of those who are surviving day to day, paycheck to paycheck forever changed with a few scant hours notice as many were informed just before what would be their last shift.

Several newly unemployed employees from the various places in town were all standing out in front of our local Starbucks commiserating in small groups of two or three, the refrains all the same..."I don't know how I am going to pay my rent in April" or "I have two kids, how am I supposed to feed them and keep a roof over our heads".  Not having any answers I continued walking, leaving them and their pain behind, feeling helpless at my inability to lend them a helping hand or handout a tidbit of advice.


Starbucks here in Nyack is a hub of our community, local musicians outside playing their instruments or singing a song, a few dollars in their guitar case tokens of others appreciation.  Chairs and tables inside at a premium as teenagers chat, business men/women making deals, and mothers tending to their children.  Other than two forlorn employees, there were only two of us inside placing to go orders as that is all that was allowed.   The chairs and tables were all gone, this sign informing us that our community gathering place was gone until further notice, all the familiar faces I am used to seeing and greeting missing in action.

The lack of life was everywhere, once impossible to find parking spaces along Main Street devoid of cars, our local parking enforcement employees wearing masks as they walked our empty sidewalks with nothing really to do other than trying to look busy, or perhaps trying not to appear scared at what we all are witnessing.

On the way back to my apartment I went down Main Street to Broadway and headed down to Memorial Park looking for signs of life...there were none, our children's playground empty, quiet, the sounds of laughter and Mothers talking nowhere to be found.

That is when the reality hit me, when I made my tweet posted above.  That same disturbing eerie silence I've only known a few times in my 64 years tearing at my soul.  The death of John F and Robert Kennedy, the loss of Martin Luther King Jr, the day the Space Shuttle blew up just after take off, and of course on 9/11 when the Twin Towers went down, and the aftermath that citizens of America followed each of these tragic events in our nation's history...they all came with this similar eerie silence, as if a part of us and our world had died, changing each of us and our lives in a forever kind of a way.