I Could be a Hermit Except for the Whole Shelter in Place/Social Distancing Thing

I'm used to living alone, done it now for the better part of the last ten years and have been fine with it for the most part except around the Holidays, so thought this whole "Sheltering in Place" thing, the "Social Distancing" caused by the Coronavirus would be a cake walk.   It has been any hing but that in so many ways that I did not see coming.  I'm a bit of a loner...but I'm not.  Routinely I'd walk down to my local watering hole around 5ish to have my couple of "Happy Hour" cocktails and say hello to people I know from here in Nyack.  Some evenings I'd pop into one of our local restaurants before heading home to my apartment, some evening coffee and perhaps a bit of desert.  

I was living alone, most times the only footsteps crossing my threshold, entering my private domain were my own, company a rarity.  I saw myself as a hermit but if truth be told realizing I am anything but that.  I miss those daily interactions out in public.  Miss sitting on my stoop saying hello to the various passerby's as they walk to or from our Memorial Park, the occasional honking of a car horn or a shouted hello from someone who recognized me.  The Pandemic has taken most of those interactions away, the aloneness of my life without this human involvement taxing on my soul.  

Is there is a ray of sunshine...

Give me a few minutes, am thinking...

I got NOTHING, sorry.

Can someone, anyone explain to me how almost half of America still believes Donald J (for Jackass) Trump is doing a great job as President?

He knew about the Pandemic as early as November, spent a great deal of January and February down playing the Coronavirus, even telling us it was a Democratic Hoax made to hurt him politically.   He attended fundraisers, played a lot of golf, visited India, and in February bragged that America only had 15 cases and we would soon be down to ZERO.  Let's fast forward to this very late April some 60 days later.  Over one million cases of the virus here in the USA, over 62,000 deaths...more lives lost than in the entire Vietnam War, and over 30 MILLION of us out of a job...that's an unemployment rate of about 18 percent folks.  Let's finish this off with the fact that most of us took a bloodbath in the stock market as well.

Unless you are a part of the Uber Wealthy 10 percent, or the disgustingly filthy rich one percent, when asked if you are better off under Trump than you were under Obama and the Democrats the answer has to be a resounding no...yet, exhaust fume breathing, Ford pickup driving, semi automatic gun tooting, chest beating all America Racists and Bigots seem to support the lunatic in the White House no matter how bad his failures, no matter how many lies he tells.  Surely a very good argument could be made that Donald Trump is a modern day Jim Jones, his followers officially a cult, perhaps even a terrorist one.

Odd news heard just now on CNN...Anderson Cooper is now a father...congratulations.  Actually for the record, think he'll be a great Dad, and think being a father will change him in ways that we will see unfold on his show.

Answer me this...how is it that Michael Cohen, Trump's fixer, gets sent home to serve out the rest of his prison sentence because of the Coronavirus but Reality Winner, as a true American hero who tried to warn us about the Russian hacking of our 2016 elections was not only given a very stiff prison sentence for being a whistleblower, but her motion to be sent home to serve out her remaining time was denied?  In a word, retaliation, or revenge and you can bet Donald Trump played a part in the judge's decision.  As long as we are on the subject, how come Roger Stone has still not reported to prison?  He got what...40 months and was sentenced months ago...OH, he wants his sentence commuted (without serving a day) because sending him to prison in the times of the Corona Virus would amount to a death sentence...ask me if I care.

My schedule is so backward forward turned upside down and tossed to the seven winds...it's just after ten and poured myself an evening cocktail that I should have poured about four hours ago.  I ate dinner at 4:30 this afternoon, and thinking about sleep is at least 3-4 hours away.   Even my cat Bella is so done with all of this...well, if truth be told, think she just wants everything to open back up again so she can have her private time when I am out and about.  She keeps giving me that "don't you have somewhere to go Dad" look.  She needs a playmate, but not sure I can handle taking care of two cats, not to mention she's been an only child since almost birth...I got her at six weeks.

Has nothing to do with nothing, but baked two loaves of Lemon Drizzle Pound Cake today.  Oh so good...had some with a cup of coffee (with a spoonful of edible honey).   OMG...what a taste treat that was.

Sitting here in almost my birthday suit and wishing someone, any one would knock on my door!  Hey, I could entertain and maintain a six foot safety distance...I'll even put on one of my masks to keep it all above board.  All kidding aside, not much of a hugger here, but a warm embracing hug would sure be welcome about right now.  In normal times, this would not be out of the realm of reality...not a normal occurrence, but one that on occasion would happen...a mid evening text message from someone just wanting to hang out anywhere but in their own studio apartment staring at four walls while listening to Shark Tank in the background as they snubbed out their last off brand cigarette.  

Thinking I should take a break here, make another cup of coffee with a splash of something in it, and maybe light up a joint...problem with that last part is I know I will end up smoking the whole thing all by my lonesome, and that might not be the best thing...or maybe it is.  The coffee is a for sure thing, so back in a bit.

Where does the time go?

The clock still hangs upon the wall

Tick tock, tick tock, over and over again

I cannot see the hands

Supposedly going round and round

Time waits for no man

...but what if I can't see it

bear witness to its passing?

Time standing still

if only for a moment

then the moments gone

lyrics spilling on the page

stolen from a song I heard

a long long time ago...OMG, plagiarism! 

What's your go to candy?

What kind of a question is that?

I have to pick just one, that's it...just one?

Does "All-of-It" count as one?

Stoner runs into a chocolate shop...

Shouts out, "All-of_It Please"

4:20 and we know what time that is

Stay up 3 Hrs and 14 minutes

Celebrate the occasion twice today

I'm "Sheltering in Place" here

So it's allowed...page 107

You don't have the Manual!?

Skipped the coffee, opted instead for a nightcap...well, unless I have another and then not sure what this one would be considered.  It is officially after midnight so suppose we could consider this one a toast to the new day. 

Sheltering in place I stroll over to the bar..."Bartender, a round for the house on my tab!"  My upstairs neighbor stomping on the floor makes me think I said that rather to loud perhaps.   Not surprising, there were no takers so stepping behind the bar I made myself a drink compliments of the house.

Note to self...maybe having a late night piece of edible fudge wasn't such a good idea, but we shall see what we shall see..."Drum role PLEASE"...I know you are thinking it should be roll, but NO! I am begging my second grade teacher to let me play the part of the drum in our school play. 

got your groans and eye rolls out of the way now?

Where was I?...oh, yes, Now I remember.

A long long...long long time ago in some far off land...fairy tales always seem to start off like that.  Can we tick it up just a bit?   "So it was yesterday...night I think.  Was at Jimmy's having a shot and a beer.  What, when and where...next sentence please.

Did anyone catch Trump's Brownshirts in action yesterday in Michigan?  In the Legislative Building with their Semi Automatic Long Rifles!  Do not tell me you need this gun for hunting unless you are out hunting Hamburger or are the World's worst shot.  No social distancing...shame on you.  No masks...oh you NAUGHTY NAUGHTY BOYS.  With "Long Rifles"...uhhhh, what...did you say long rifles?  I know, insane right?  You know "Dear Leader" is coming don't you?

Excuse me, I have to go throw up.

Seriously, that man makes me sick to my stomach.  Let's change subjects.

How about them Yankees....oh, nevermind, no baseball this spring, but HEY the beaches in Florida are open.

Listening to late night news is depressing.  I just learned that in old people (that would be me) taking aspirin can cause bleeding.  I turned the sound down before I heard any more.  Moody Blues is a decent replacement for the moment, though may need to switch it up a little bit.   OK...for now then it's "The Beatles".  I want one of those jackets from the Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band" album cover.  That should age me.  When I find myself in times of trouble...I think we are there America!  Danger Will Robinson, DANGER!  Lost in space wondering where I'll wake up at in the morning.   

Imagine This...

That long awaited knock at the door at almost one in the AM

Harder knocking...It's the police, we got a noise complaint.

Be there in a minute officer...who am I kidding?  I have to pull my sweats on, find my breath freshener, and had best probably brush my hair.  Oh...turned the music down and tell no one in particular since I am the only one here, "shhhhh, everyone be quiet".

Hey!  I said imagine this...not laugh at my suddenly awkward situation.  Just in time the jukebox lifts out one 45 and puts another in.   I don't know why, nobody told you?....come on, everybody sing along.  Can anyone play a weeping guitar? 

Lost in Confusion...who, me?...no, just another stolen song reference.

Planet earth is through and there's nothing we can do...Sing it loud!

Time to go----time to go..........time   to   go

Sure man, eat the edible fudge dude...it's good for whatever it is that ails you.  As the clock strikes one realizing I have a nice little buzz on.   Now is when I wish I had a couple of mannequins to stage around the place...my own little party, everyone dressed for the ball.  Make a whole series of "Sheltering in Place" Youtube Party Videos.   

Friend of mine suggested I get my passport in order...I said, "No, it's fine I always pass on port."

Have rambled on endlessly on this late night sojourn, my mind traveling to the far beyond and back again, random thoughts my space ships carrying me to destinations yet unknown.  Time Traveler? Pick up a book and read it cover to cover.  Am I a time traveler...go read your book then come back and tell me.

Sitting here picking up the pieces of my lost mind thinking its time to ask Google for some King Crimson...Court of the Crimson King!   In my heart, and maybe in a small part of my brain tucked away far in the back I still think and feel maybe 20 or 21.    Intellectually I know I'm not, the signs of old age peeking in everywhere I look.  Bringing my coffee into the desk of a morning then asking myself if I took my pills...back out to the kitchen to check my pill box...A PILL BOX for FUCKS SAKE...I mean really.

....and on that note...Good night world.

Been Awhile Since I Posted...Best Laid Plans

New Walking Bridge Memorial Park

So much for my goal of writing daily in this Coronavirus Blog...unfortunately, this Pandemic, how it is being handled (badly), the death toll, friends who now are sick, a couple who might not make it has all been too much at times an dso I've been hunkering down, just trying to get through as unscathed as possible.  It would be nice if these April showers of which we have had far more than our share would go away for more than one day here and one day there.  

So many things to touch upon...statistics...not good.  Here in America over 1 Million people infected with the Corona Virus with over 62,000 dead souls...more than lost during the entire Vietnam War if you want a perspective on this.  People disagree with me, but I believe it is imperative that Donald J. Trump be brought before the Hague to face charges of Genocide and Crimes Against Humanity.  Too harsh?  He has ordered $10 an hour employees to risk their lives by ordering the Meat Packing Companies to stay open, meanwhile giving them a full and complete legal liability should anyone get sick or die during this ordered remain open order.  

Another long time gift shop here in Nyack is going out of business...wanted to do some baking and when I walked downtown for a few supplies was saddened to see the big "Going out of Business signs plastered to the windows.   That is now two shops I've done Christmas Shopping in for years that are victims of this Pandemic, and wondering how many more we will lose before or if things ever return back to normal.

Memorial Park is completely closed down, and a whole lot of folks are not happy about it...they can blame all those who are ignoring or being half assed when it comes to Social Distancing, wearing masks, and staying in except as is necessary...sorry, skateboarding is not essential nor is shooting hoops, or large group picnics.  

Directly and indirectly six people with the Coronavirus, and one of them has died, and two others are not in very good shape at the moment.  Cannot prove it, but would swear I had a light version of it, but was not willing to risk visiting our local hospital to find out, and knock on wood I did not get super serious sick...just super sick.  My guess is it was the flu which I get almost every winter.

Have been doing a lot of baking during all this...most of it I give away to a few of the neighbors around here who are shut in...still, eating to much of it myself as I have gained eight pounds in the past seven weeks.  

I may come back later and share some of the thoughts that are weighing heavy here...just felt my first post back should not be all hell fire and brimstone.

Rockland County Positive Coronavirus Test Numbers Rising

Got distracted, but back to this...so woke up, had my coffee, spent some time on Twitter basically wasting time until Governor Cuomo came on CNN with his daily Press Conference.  Unlike with Donald Trump (Not my President) when he speaks, no matter how good or ugly it might be, you knew you are hearing the truth.   There is a lot to be said for an honest man in these very troubling times.   As most people reading this blog would know, I live in Nyack just north of New York City in Rockland County...I'd normally script that last descriptor except it is important to this paragraph.  As he usually does, Cuomo started with just hard straightforward statistics, this many tested, that many tested positive, so forth and so on.  

He then moved onto the CURVE/HILL with what he said was both good and bad news.   The good news overall...our Sheltering In Place is working, having a positive effect on lowering the spread of the virus.   Then he went on with the bad news saying positive test rates were going up in some areas, Rockland, ...Did not really hear the other areas: he said Rockland County, OMG, he said Rockland County...shit, fuck, OMG this is getting serious!  I live in Rockland County.  You know where I am going with this, lets just say it was disconcerting.

Without much fanfare, it turns out that positive tests for the Coronavirus are on the rise, which explains why they barcaded and shut down Memorial Park here in Nyack day before yesterday.

Meanwhile in Trumplandia...all the medical professionals are telling us we need massive coast to coast testing before we can safely open back up the economy.  They are suggesting Sheltering in Place needs to continue till the end of May, or middle of June.  These people are smart people, the best of the best...no, not the Donald Trump, "I only hire the best!" kind of best, the real best of the best minds.  They know what they are talking about these learned men and women, you can trust what they are telling you, know it is backed up by hard science and facts.  Nevermind all that, Donald (stable Genius) Trump knows better, his uncle went to MIT, has better hunches has decided we need to put out the "Open for Business" sign put the pedal to the metal and JUMP START our Economic Engine with a big bang.

Now when I hear/see someone talking about petal to the metal, jump starting, engine and big Bang in the same sentence, never is the BIG BANG part suggestive of a good news story.  But Super Genius, Top of His Class (he's not) at Wharton intuitions is telling him NOW IS THE TIME.  Meanwhile CNN is telling me that 455 of the crew on an aircraft carrier have tested positive for the Coronavirus.  Pence tugging on Trump's coat pocket, "Don, you know if you are wrong people are going to die, a LOT OF PEOPLE!"

"Pence old boy, relax...I mean who cares, poor people are expendable don't you know. I need a strong economy or at least one that looks strong to bolster my re-election chances.  Yes, a few, maybe a lot while die, but I'll tell my base I did it to save their 401K's."

"But sir, Mr. President most of your base don't have 401K's."

"Who cares?  Have to know your mark Pence old boy...they don't have 401K's but they want one, and I'm letting them know I am watching out for their 401K's now, or somewhere in the future is they are ever fortunate to have one...which we both know they won't."  

Did you know yesterday and today, as America's Coronavirus Death Toll climbed up over 16,000 that Donald Trump was on Twitter bragging about his Press Briefing ratings, better than the Bachelor.  I'm serious, this is real news, not that FAKE NEWS that FOX News and the White House panders in.

Bernie Sanders is out of the running...but not.  Trust me, he is going to try to cause chaos and hope for a Brokered Convention this summer.

It's late, so going to close this off...will try to pop back in to this entry in the AM, provide a few links, and put up an image or three.

Just When You Thought Coronavirus Could not be More Cruel-John Prine Lost His Fight Tonight.

Last week I was shook to my core when the news came out that music legend John Prine, perhaps one of our times greatest storytellers was fighting for his life, the coronavirus trying to steal him away from all of us in our hour of need, when his story could give us strength to carry on for another day as the nightly news threaten to send us spiraling down into a deep depression from which we would never return.  It is with a heavy heart tonight that I write the words, "He lost his fight."  As I type this post through streaming tears someone I considered a friend is singing his way up into the heavens to join his legend friends over a cold draft beer.

Just wish I could stop my tears right now...back when I was young there were many times when his words, his storytelling kept me grounded and sane.  RIP John Prine.  Looking at what Donald Trump has done to our nation, how he has bungled the Coronavirus Pandemic that took John away, I leave you tonight with this song..."Some Humans Ain't Human'.

Sunday Night...The Mind is Numb in Rapid Fire Way

Trump Sees Light at End of Tunnel

I know, the title makes no sense whatsoever while making perfect sense...this whole Coronavirus Pandemic has left me numb yet filled with rage at those who have contributed to making it far worse than it had to be with Donald J. Trump at the top of the list.  FACT...I was severely sexually, emotionally and physically abused as a child, and I hate Trump far more than my abusers.  I wish him nothing but the worst that Karma has to offer, wish to see him forced to suffer ten times as worse as those he has hurt ever suffered, and his children should be standing in line awaiting their turn.  Don't bother counseling me about  turning the other cheek...done doing that, and we all saw how well Michelle's advice worked out for us in 2016 when she said, "When they go low we go high"...NO, when they go low, get out your brass knuckles and knock their fucking teeth out.  To harsh?  Then don't read my entry.  I am tired of crooks, liars, cheats and bullies winning, tired of them running America and oppressing over half of our population because of their own greed and corruption.

We are being warned that the next week (or two) will be bad, worse than Pearl Harbor or 9/11...give it to us straight, what are you models telling you that you are trying to candy coat before you feed us a portion of the ugly truth.  Just how many deaths is Donald J Trump administration expecting in the next two weeks?  America has a right to straight forward answers to this question.  Of those expected deaths, how many could have been prevented if Donald Trump had not failed so miserably, and more importantly was his failure on some levels deliberate?  You know it was America and no I will not forgive those who voted to put him in office, nor will I forgive Bernie Sanders folks that decided to vote for Jill Stein or even Donald Trump to protest our candidate...YOU GAVE THE FUCKING SUPREME COURT to the rabid far right you idiots.  Lastly, those of you who did not bother to vote (not counting those who's voted was/is suppressed) I loathe you more than all of the above. 

Some things I have witnessed that will forever be etched in my mind....

Today I went out for a walk with my camera.  Walking down to Memorial Park I saw a little girl crying as her father held her in his arms and tried to explain why she could not use the slide or swing in a swing.  Her "But why Daddy" broke my heart.  My walk takes me past a small, flimsy shelter one of our homeless folks built to have a place in out of the rain.  Not sure who had done it, but someone had brought him a bag of basic food supplies...there are angels among us.  A woman sat crying on a park bench nestled along the hudson river...I asked if she was OK?  Her reply..."my Mom just went on a ventilator"...WOW...what do you say?

I'd love to say I'm doing well through all of this...truth is I am not.  Anger, sadness, grief and my depression all fighting for control of my soul.  Other than for my small walks I sit all alone in my basement apartment listening to the news in much the same fashion I did in the aftermath of 9/11 as I feel I have an obligation to bear witness to all of this regardless of the cost to my own sanity.  I am afraid...afraid for Nyack, afraid for New York, and afraid for America.  I am frightened that I might get the Coronavirus, but more frightened at what happens if I had to go to the hospital...I'm 64 so I am no longer guaranteed to get the Medical Help I would need to stay alive...funny how you can hate the life you live, but the thought of losing it, or someone else taking it away angers you to the core.

I need a drink...NO, I need a fucking drink, a good stiff fucking drink.

Stay Safe everyone.

Saturday Check In...Beautiful Day

Today was a beautiful spring day, the sun high in the sky, flowers blooming, the trees budding a sure sign that their leaves are close behind.  Saw the first sailboat of the year out on the Hudson...if it were not for the Coronavirus Pandemic our little town of #Nyack would have been hopping, all the restaurant sidewalk tables filled with patrons, a long line at the Starbucks waiting to place their orders, and perhaps hundreds of children playing in the park...none of that was going on, no tables out on the sidewalks, no lines at the Starbucks, and Memorial Park devoid of almost any human presence at all.  The good news...that means people are taking the Sheltering in Place serious here in town.   The bad news...some folks (mostly 20 somethings) just don't seem to care, see this as one big vacation, some even thinking it's all a joke on those of us taking it so seriously.

For the second day in a row now our death toll here in America was over 1,000, though at our current pace (fingers crossed) we may tamp this all down and have far fewer than the predicted 100,000-250,000 deaths that the models are calling for.  At this point, no predictions because this virus seems very unpredictable, and just went you think it is under control it pops its head up somewhere else and is twice as destructive.  Heard on CNN today that the virus has mutated 7 or 8 times and that is not good for any of us.

Not in a writing mood right now, so going to close.

Missed Two Days with Corona Virus Scare of My Own

The best laid plans of mouse and men...do apologize for missing two days worth of entries, but had my own scare here with this Corona Virus Pandemic.  Started feeling a bit under the weather early in the week.  No way to take my temperature as my thermometer was on the blink, could not find one anywhere locally, and the one I order from Amazon (that was in stock when they took my money) I got notice was back ordered until at least May.  Did a Facetime with my doctor who order some prescriptions including a full range antibiotic.  Spent Wednesday and Thursday feeling like shit and sleeping a fitful nightmarish two days...woke up this morning, and whatever I had I seem to be on the rebound, and HEADACHE FREE.

So there is no doubt where I stand...I hate and loathe Donald J Trump, his entire administration and the GOP.  Saying they dropped the ball, saying they have made mistakes falls far short of the target...the group of them are guilty of crimes against humanity in what can only be called the Trump Holocaust, and yes I believe he is practicing a form of Genocide primarily aimed at Blue States as he seeks revenge for any and all perceived wrongs against him personally.  Harsh judgement but well deserved, and when this is all over, when our populace is once again safe he and many others must be tried at the Hague and imprisoned for life without eligibility of parole, and when those found guilty pass they should be buried in unmarked graves at undisclosed locations.

My big accomplishment today...baked Banana Nut bread (two loaves), and got in a really good nap when I opted to skip the Trump Propaganda Press'er.  Just enjoyed a piece with my evening cup of coffee, and resisting so far having a second slice.  

On CNN they do stories about Americans stepping up and doing the right thing.  Nyack is a very affluent community, but not everyone here was born with a silver spoon, so I have a special shout out to the Pizza Bistro on Broadway who has a sign in the window inviting anyone who is hungry but has no money to come in for a FREE SLICE...that folks is PAYING IT FORWARD.  So, if you are thinking of ordering in during this Shelter in Place please think of ordering from them.  In other food news...best drink deal in town...a full 32 ounce Margarita to go is available at Maura's Kitchen for just 16 dollars...order it with no ice, and salt for the rim on the side.

Little kid walking down my street holding his Dad's hand, both of them in mask and surgical gloves looks up and says, "Dad, why does the president hate us?"  This is what and where Donald J Trump has dragged us to as a nation.

Today is day 18 of my being in lock down.  A few walks on sunny days to get some fresh air, a couple of quick excursions down to our one small grocery on North Broadway, or down to Murray's for coffee creamer and another pack or two of smokes...I KNOW, I KNOW, I should give up that bad habit, but I love my coffee.  Other than these few trips out my front door, not left my little basement apartment, with some days breezing by, and then others dragging on and on, the bad news on my doorstep sending me spiraling down deeper into a depression that is never far away.  This constant feeling of dread hanging over our heads, that nagging what if I get the virus seeing all of us living with a fear that does not go away, a fear that has us looking with suspicion at everyone who crosses our path...where is their mask, how come they are not wearing gloves, what are they even doing outside their house, they don't even own a dog. 

Knock Knock

GO AWAY, I don't want your fucking germs!

So a Virus walks into the bar and says, 

"Can I get a Corona?"

To early for Corona Virus humor?  If I don't laugh I'll start to cry, and that is not a good strategy at the moment.  To many deaths, and far to many stories about beautiful people who are dying way to soon in life.  To many news story about how we old people are being or will be denied medical treatments that could save our lives.  How many of us are afraid to go to the Emergency Room, find ourselves wondering if we will die in the hospital, or be sent home to die alone, either way our families or friends unable to be there as we pass.

It's after eight, so think I shall close this up for the night.  God's Speed everyone, stay safe, and please please SHELTER IN PLACE to save your own lives, and the lives of everyone else that crosses your path.